The first was an email sent thru this website asking for advice in reaching a large number of people to help fund an independent living facility for multi-handicapped deaf adults. To my knowledge Mr. Glaser has no connection with deafness and I was as much puzzled by my sudden “need” to write requesting his help as he must have been (if he ever even saw the email). I have no particular belief in serendipity, but believe quite strongly that many of us, myself included, miss the opportunity to do what God has planned because we are too busy trying to figure out exactly what it is He has planned.

So, when the Arielle Beanie Baby showed up in my work area in an unexplained manner the same evening that the KYAdapt fundraising committee met to discuss our rather dire need, I decided to act on blind faith.

Perhaps the act of acting was not as important as the act of having faith. And, certainly, feeling as foolish as I felt, I was no testament to true faith.

When there was no response to my email, it was easy to shrug off as a moment of sheer silliness.

But, once again, I find myself puzzling over my own urge to write a second time. This time a former student of mine asked me to explain the words Mr. Glaser had written regarding sound. She has been deaf since birth. Unlike so many of her Deaf counterparts who embrace their deafness as both a physical difference and a cultural difference, my former student questions her inability to hear and strives constantly to gain a stronger understanding of what she has never known. Apparently while surfing thru the myriad of ‘hits’ that the single word, “sound”, brought to light when entered into her search engine, Mr. Glaser’s blog appeared.

Once again, I am bewildered to find myself writing. But, once again, cannot get past the manner in which Mr. Glaser has again “appeared” in my conscience mind while I am actively sitting on a committee attempting to brainstorm fundraising for a need that I feel is as unrecognized by the general public as he must surely have felt when first delving into the need for pediatric aids research. There is no parallel to the amount of personal involvement, the numbers of people affected, nor the end objective. I am at as much of a loss as to why I am writing as any other logical person must surely be…but, still, I hear a voice saying, ‘the worst thing that can happen is you’ll look foolish, and the best possibility is that this attempt will facilitate access to knowledge that will successfully bring attention to and funding for a much needed program.

All that having been said, I would like to respond to the blog entry referring to sound. Because Mr. Glaser’s writing style does not lend itself to transliteration into American Sign Language (which is a language completely separate from American English), I spent a great deal of time attempting to understand what he has written—- apart from the actual words he used. It is the concepts, which swirl around illusively in the midst of all those words that I strove to make meaningful to my deaf friend.

One of the limitations of internet communication is the same attribute which has brought it to the forefront of modern communications: The ability to correspond with people heretofore unknown. When there is no real relationship between the author and his reader, there is no true point of reference from which the reader can compare his perception of intent to the writer’s likely meaning. It is frightening to think that tiny nuances of punctuation, semantics, and even font choice, might influence the reader’s understanding.

I tried to explain to my deaf friend that a great deal of written meaning in interpersonal communication is reliant on one’s knowledge of the writer’s personality, sense of humor, tendency toward the use of sarcasm, word choice and many, many other factors which influence true communication of intent.

It would be truly arrogant of me to read anything that Mr. Glaser has written and assume that I fully understand what he has meant. I don’t know him except thru his portrayal of characters I have see on screen. And, while there must surely be a bit of Mr. Glaser in those characters, I don’t think that anyone of them IS Mr. Glaser. (Mr. Glaser is, even now, probably most associated with Starsky. Had Detective Starsky actually existed, even HE would no longer be the same person he was 35 years ago.) Therefore, my attempt to interpret the meaning of Mr. Glaser’s writing may be entirely off mark. If so, I apologize and will stand corrected without objection.

With the statement, “As humans, we have the gift of consciousness and the ability to focus our minds…”, I believe, Mr. Glaser negates the possibility that his use of sound to illustrate his point indicates his belief that deaf people (who have never had the ability to hear or associate sound with emotion or event) are incapable of attaining the level of self awareness alluded to in his writing. It would seem to me that Mr. Glaser’s reference to sound is a result of his inner debate as to what point something intangible becomes tangible to our limited human minds. He seems to be making the point that when we, as humans, give up our need to “understand” and begin to accept that things “are” we free ourselves to live in the here and now.

I put no one on a pedestal; I tend to choose ‘heroes’ who are known to very few. And, yet, I, once again find myself writing to someone who is known only to me by the publicity he has received over the years.

I was brought to this moment in time by something as unlikely as Mr. Glaser’s reference to sound. It was my deaf friend’s curiosity about sound that brought me to the reading of Mr. Glaser’s written words.

However; it is Mr. Glaser’s reference to ‘existence without judgment’ that led me to respond with my own writing. While Mr. Glaser may not agree, I believe the act of accepting ‘without the need to define or know’ IS faith. I am working hard to put aside my need to define the chain of circumstance which led me on this path and simply trust that life is unfolding as it should. I am hoping that I will not be judged, but, if I am to be judged, I am also hopeful that at least the core of my intent will be recognized as something worthy.

If the monk won’t help, I can lend you a pair of scissors.

Meet you here or there.

Softly

the ball is still bouncing back but I think the elastic has stretched – it doesn’t come back quite as fast as it did. Maybe soon I’ll be able to reach our and but the elastic for once and for all

It must be the moon…..It hit me too, my perpetual bouncing ball. It didn’t hit me that hard this time, maybe I saw it coming, maybe the ball is finally getting smaller or am I getting bigger….? I don’t know.

Here are two things that help me when the noise inside my head is getting to loud.

One is a technique I learned long time ago, it helps with anxiety, fear or when you just need some distance between you and the situation.

You picture yourself sitting in a movie theatre in the balcony looking down on yourself sitting on the 4th row watching a movie of yourself in the situation you need answers in. You are not in the situation, you are watching yourself watching yourself. Have a bit of popcorn and relax the answers will come, probably out of left field (grin)

Two. I put on a tape inside my head, It is a small cartoon, that loops. In it a little Zen monk, looking very friendly, nodding, with an understanding smile on his face, and repeating over and over is a very calm and soothing voice: This too will pass, my friend, this too will pass. Eventually his voice drowns out the cacophony in my head.
If you want to lend my little cartoon monk, he’s yours.

I’ll be thinking of you, for I know rough sea’s are never fun, with a kind hart for you and all that are dealing with big things. This I know for sure my friend, this too shall pass.

Grateful for learning even in rough seas I remain,Softly

You’re “only” human.
Try to accept your anger and fear instead of fighting it,doing that is just a waste of precious energy….believe me,I’ve been(and still am) there way too often.
Am I trying to tell you to feel compassion for yourself?Yes but I also know that anger and fear can be overwhelming so take your time.
Sometimes having a good cry helps to relieve the emotional pain and stress as well.

Here I am,feeling helpless(and trying to accept that)for not being able to do more than just showing you my empathy and my compassion.

Whatever it is that’s causing you so much pain,this situation will pass,Hilly,it will pass….

In hope of being heard over that cacophony of fear and anger I wish you peace of mind

We can learn from their questions. Why should anyone apologise for ‘not getting it’?

I am eternally grateful to all of those who post consturctive thoughts here – yes even the ones that may seem to some to be negative….each of them helps me to reflect again on what I saw in the original post from Paul.

We all have to face our fears when they hit us out of the left field.
Right now I feel adrift; surrounded by a sea of helplessness that scares the (pick you word here) out of me. I am dealing with a situation that comes back at me like one of the balls on a long elastic that you hit with a bat; I think ‘this time I’ve broken the elastic’ only to see it come flying back out of the left field and hit me in the emotional solar plexus and takes my breath and my resistance with it.

It makes me feel helpless because I can’t believe that I’m not dealing with it with the ‘strength’ I know I have. If I were advising someone else in this situation I’d know what to tell them….but I can’t hear my own voice int he cacophony of fear and anger that the situation has caused.

For example, there is a hip-hop artist (who shall go un-named for purposes of this point) who talks about how different frequencies of sound can harbour positive or negative thoughts in people. He speaks of his unhappiness of the current hip-hop music genre, how it is filled with negative words, couple with negative vibrations and frequencies and about how this is our legacy to the next generation.

I have been reading a lot about this kind of stuff (being an amateur music creator myself), so you can imagine finding a blog written on a similar subject by someone who I find fascinating to read is quite a surprise.

I would be very open to learn more if you would ever care to expand on this thought.

I find benefit in reading all posts here, especially those that question, because it is in the questions that you further expand your mind and knowledge. For me, all comments are welcome and do not need to be defended. My life’s journey, the experiences I’ve had, the formal education I’ve been blessed to pursue and the many relatives that are or were in their 80′s and 90′s, that gave me the gift of just being in their presence to listen; all these have made me a person that never sees anything too deep or too over my head… I have yet to meet a person that impresses me more, or makes me think more than my 87 year old Grandfather – he is by far the smartest, most intellectual and philosophical person I know [although meeting Bishop Tutu came very close]. I take in what I feel I want to take in here; try to be positive, reflective and a little personal in my responses and enjoy ‘witnessing’ the exchange; doesn’t make me any better or different from how others respond, just uniquely me.. my ‘Shared Thoughts’

I think it really is true in what he states that:”When our minds try to define or interpret the experience, we are no longer feeling it.” And when we can’t ‘feel’ it, IMHO, it is easy to misinterpret..and not fully ‘get it.’

Hope this helps..somewhat… but true to your comment, that the greatest impact does come from the ‘source.’

Just my thoughts…